We had a neighbor who committed suicide today. We think he did so because he had been in very poor health for the past several years and had just been told he had another serious, debilitating condition that was, at best, life threatening and, most likely, terminal because of all his other issues. He was 75. His partner of over 30 years is 82. She is in dementia.
One never knows what someone else is thinking when he does something like this. Perhaps he was concerned about how he could care for her? Maybe he thought she would get the care she needs if he took himself out of the picture? Maybe he was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
We may never know. And the person closest to him is not capable of communicating with anyone re what was going on inside their home the past few months. We knew he had been depressed for awhile now because of the forced inactivity of a very serious spine condition. But knowing someone is depressed over a health issue doesn't mean there is anything anyone outside of the situation can do to help. He was an independent cuss. Neighbors like my husband tried to help him and were told he didn't need their help -- he could manage on his own. Men of his generation, I believe, have a hard time accepting assistance from anyone. He didn't trust doctors or hospitals, either.
I guess the only thing we can do at this juncture is to offer our condolences to the family and let her daughters know that we will help them in any way we can to help them move her to a safe environment.
Makes us think. Makes us wonder how we would handle similar circumstances.
I hope we never have to know.
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